This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure policy for more info
If you feel like your marriage is no longer on the right track, or that you and your husband have grown apart, there are some little ways to reconnect with your husband and bring back the spark in your relationship.
Marriages can take a 360-degree turn from being loving and fun-filled to boring and lonely. Your husband, whom you used to be very close with and shared everything with, becomes like a mere roommate living in the same house with you. In most cases this problem is as a result of some factors that you may or may not have taken note of.
Some of these factors include:
- Lack of communication or ineffective communication
- Always being or claiming to be too busy
- Being impatient or getting annoyed easily
- Not being intimate anymore
- Difficult work schedules, etc.
When you lose the connection you used to have in your marriage and you do nothing to find a new spark and reconnect with your husband, this definitely poses a huge threat to your marriage. Gradually, it begins to go down the drain.
Then one day you may wake up and it will dawn on you that you and the man of your dreams are tired of each other. And the only thing you both would want at that point is for the marriage to come to an end.
But you must know that all hope is not lost!
If you are feeling a lack of love in your marriage, having an “off” feeling, looking for a way to turn your roommate back into your husband, or you just simply feel like you need to reconnect with your husband, then this post is for you.
Below are 11 little ways to reconnect with your husband and bring that lost spark back into the marriage.
Psst – Don’t forget to follow me on Pinterest for all your self growth, personal development and relationship tips! It will only take a second of your time!
1. Use the “five magic words” often
According to a nursery rhyme, the five magic words are “Please, Excuse me, Sorry, Thank you, and Pardon Me”.
This may seem like little ways to show courtesy but you would be surprised at how much impact saying them can make in your marriage.
No one likes being with a person who has a sense of entitlement. If you want to get something from your husband, you should use the word “please” when asking him. Even if it’s something that should be his normal duty. By using the word “please” while asking him, it shows him that you respect him and would appreciate his effort.
Imagine being in the middle of a conversation with your husband, then your phone rings and without even taking any form of excuse, you just leave the conversation and head for your phone. This might make your husband feel like he or the conversation he is having with you is unimportant which might lead to problems in the marriage sooner or later. Therefore, you must learn to use the words “Excuse Me” when necessary.
One of the things that gradually ruin a marriage is when either or both partners can’t apologize for their wrong doings. Then they stop talking to each other for a while because they are angry, which makes them drift apart without even noticing it. You should learn to say the word “sorry” and apologize for your wrong doings regardless of how little it may seem.
Everyone loves being appreciated, no matter how little or big their effort is. Showing and telling your husband that you appreciate him will make him happy and even prompt him to do better.
Your appreciation shouldn’t just be limited to when he does something very big or seemingly significant for you. Thank him for how he provides for the family and how much work he puts into making things work. Even for as little as dropping you off at work, or taking out the trash. You should learn to say thank you and mean it.
It’s not enough to just apologize or say sorry when you are wrong, you must also make sure that you ask for your husband’s forgiveness and ensure that he actually pardoned you.
Saying these little courteous words to your husband may not seem like a big deal, but you will be surprised at how much of a difference saying and meaning them will make in your marriage.
2. Lend a listening ear to him
Most times we get caught up in just wanting to talk about ourselves and our problems that we forget to even care to ask about how the other person is doing or listen to them talk about their problems too.
As much as you want to talk about yourself and your problems to your husband, you must be willing to lend a listening ear to him. Listen to him talk about himself and his problems too.
Instead of lamenting about how stressful your work is, ask him how he is doing or how his work is going, if he needs anything or if you can help him with anything. Giving a person your full attention is one of the best gifts you can offer to them.
By doing the above, you are showing him that you care about him and this would help you reconnect.
3. Stay away from your gadgets when you are together
Technology has turned some couples to just mere roommates living in the same house. That phone or iPad you are holding in your hand can build a huge wall between you and your husband without you even realizing it.
It is understandable that you want to surf through the internet, check your social media or email. But this shouldn’t be at the expense of spending time with your husband.
If your marriage is gradually going down the drain, you must make a conscious effort to stay away from your gadgets when you are with your husband. This way, both of you can have quality time together.
The time you would be using to check your phone or use your laptop when you are together, use it to do something fun together or have a proper conversation.
4. Write sweet text messages or love notes and send them to him
This may not seem like a big deal, but writing a text or a note telling your husband what an amazing person he is and how much you love him (or how handsome he is) can make a huge difference in your marriage.
It doesn’t have to be a long note or text, but the message you are passing is what matters the most.
Instead of sending the notes directly to him, you can decide to put it in his wallet or somewhere in his car where he is sure to find it. This gesture is sure to bring a smile to his face, make him feel loved and ultimately, help you reconnect with your husband.
5. Surprise him
In most marriages, the man is usually the one coming up with one form of surprise or the other. You must learn to surprise him too.
It doesn’t have to be something big or expensive, the thought and love you put into it is what matters the most. You could decide to surprise him by cooking his favorite meal or buying him a new shirt, shoes or tie. Just make sure it is something he would like no matter how small it may be.
6. Show intimate gestures
Showing intimate gestures like giving him a hug, stealing a kiss, cuddling or holding hands can be very simple ways to reconnect with your husband.
Most couples tend to do these things only during the dating stage or in the first few months of marriage and after that, they stop.
Giving him compliments is also an intimate gesture—everyone loves a sincere compliment. Compliment his looks, his outfit or something that would easily bring a smile to his face.
You really should learn to show your husband romantic and intimate gestures.
7. Be supportive
Knowing that a person supports you and has your back is an amazing feeling. You must learn to show support to your husband irrespective of what the situation may be. Let him know that you have his back and you are always down for him.
Don’t nag at him when he makes a mistake or make him feel bad about it, instead correct him and support him to be better.
8. Schedule date nights from time to time
Having a date night once in a while with your husband is not a bad idea at all and it will help the both of you reconnect with each other.
You don’t have to spend a fortune in order to have a nice date night. There are lots of free and cheap date night ideas. You could decide to cook your favorite meal together, buy your favorite wine, light a candle and enjoy a nice indoor date which would mean a lot to the both of you.
If you want to go on an outdoor date night, it doesn’t have to be in an expensive restaurant. The ultimate goal should be for the both of you to have a nice time together.
9. Do something fun together and have a good laugh
Doing something fun together is a perfect way to reconnect with your husband. It could be an activity that the both of you enjoyed doing while you were dating.
You can decide to cook your favorite meal together, give each other a body massage or take a bubble bath together. It might be going on Netflix to watch your favorite movie or watch a rib cracking comedy.
You can go through your photo albums (or camera roll) together in order to relive beautiful memories. Or, you can decide to put your favorite music on and dance to it together.
What matters is that you are both happy and having fun together.
10. Reignite the spark in your sexual life
You didn’t think I would leave this part out, did you? One very effective way to reconnect with your husband is by adding more spice to your sexual life. Play games like truth or dare, strip checker, etc. in the bedroom. I mean, live a little!
Buy new lingerie and wear it to bed, steal kisses from him randomly, engage in a lot of foreplay, seduce him and ask him what he would like the both of you to do in bed together.
If you don’t go to bed at the same time, try as much as possible to make going to bed together part of your new routine.
11. Be open and honest
Your marriage might be going down the drain simply because you are not being open and honest with our husband.
You should learn to let him know how you feel about certain things and ask him for his opinion too. Work on constantly clearing any doubt or misunderstanding in the air as quickly as possible. Be honest in all you do and don’t give him any reason to doubt you or your words.
Some love for you:
The bitter truth is that no marriage is perfect. Every marriage comes with its own issues. But the most important thing is that when you realize there is a problem, you work on sorting it out as soon as possible.
It is very important that you maintain a deep connection with your husband because if you don’t, the both of you will end up fighting, arguing and having a lot of misunderstandings.
Maintaining a deep connection with your spouse for the rest of your marriage may not be easy but you need to brace up for the task ahead and put your all into achieving it.
When you realize that the connection you have with him is not as strong as it used to be, that doesn’t mean that the marriage is over. Not at all! Marriage is a life-long commitment, but I’m sure you know that already. What you should do at this point is work towards bringing the spark back into the marriage. Practicing the points mentioned above is a very good way to start.
You must also realize that change doesn’t just happen overnight. You need to constantly put in the required effort if you want to see a positive result, because baby steps will eventually lead into long strides.
The points above may not be the answer to solving all your marital problems, but they will go a long way in reigniting the fire in your marriage and oh yes, helping you reconnect with your husband.
You might also want to read about:
- 11 Mistakes Women Make In Relationships
- How To Bring Back The Love In Your Relationship
- 12 Important Things Men Want In A Relationship