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There are certain important things that men want in a relationship which we might not always think about. And no, I’m not talking about what men want physically, but what they need and want emotionally.
A relationship is best defined as a give and take scenario that spans many years. A symbiotic relationship (those who paid attention in biology class, holla), one where both parties benefit and grow both physically, and mentally.
Nowadays, however, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Some relationships are broken after many years, and others, as soon as it starts. Many times we can actually see that some people aren’t even compatible. And to our surprise, those people still stay together no matter how tough the going gets, while those we thought of as the perfect couple end up splitting, and often the split is very nasty.
How could this be? What causes fairytale relationships to turn into horrible nightmares overnight? Long story short? I’ll go with a lack of understanding and patience that is absent in many relationships today.
12 Things men want in a relationship they won’t necessarily tell you about
It is very hard for relationships to thrive if one party doesn’t understand the workings of the other, doesn’t even try to start understanding them and yet demands to be understood.
It is also very difficult for relationships to survive when neither have the patience for the shortcomings of the other. Both parties must have a mutual understanding of one another for relationships to flourish. And here, we’ll begin with the things men want in a relationship.
People usually assume that males are led by what they see, which of course is not totally wrong. But men rely on their gut, their instincts, to see the true characters of a woman before deciding to ask her to be in their life forever.
For women in relationships already, this article will show you some things you could do to make your man happier (which will also make him live longer). After all, the fastest way to a man’s heart is… through his heart (sike!).
1. Men have the desire to be understood
Yes, firstly we’ll start with the basis for true love, understanding. Men will always go for the woman they feel understands them, and their highs and lows. Nowadays men are thrust into the world with the expectations to be strong and show no emotions. Men, now more than ever, need a woman who can see past the facade that is known as the Tough Guy card.
It always eats men up when they cannot reveal what they feel because of what society expects of them. Imagine their woman holding that same belief. Sometimes men want to be babied, and that is okay actually.
Naturally, they are known to stand up and make decisions and all. But around their woman they want that security of admitting weakness without being chastised. It is very normal, and showing him how much you are willing to understand him will sweep him off his feet (yep, men can be swept off their feet too).
In a world that criticizes you for whatever you do, whether right or wrong, be that woman who will not be judgmental of his choices whether or not they are wrong. It’s alright to always air your thoughts—it is very important to do so. But if for some reason, say stubbornness, he still stays on track with his previous decisions and the outcome isn’t so palatable, it will be very nice of you not to point fingers at him.
2. Men need to be listened to
In a world where everyone has a story to tell, those who listen are true treasures to behold. The more you listen to someone, the more they have a deeper connection with you. The best way to connect with your man is to always be there to listen to him. When he feels down he needs to be listened to, he needs someone to hear about the very thoughts that plague him.
Hence, one of the most important things men want in a relationship is to be listened to. The woman who always listens to her partner will be valued above everything in his life; men are actually quite simple.
3. Men need to feel trusted
In every relationship there will come trying times when the sincerity of your partner is going to be doubted. What I advise is that it is very difficult to hide the truth, so you should trust him. If you understand him well enough, there are things you will know he can and cannot do. Use that as a foundation for your trust girl, and watch your relationship soar.
4. Men need emotional intimacy
Emotional intimacy goes way beyond mere touches or kisses. In this case, it is the depth at which your partner can open up to you about his past experiences without the sting of guilt or judgmental glares.
The more a man can be open about his secrets, the more he will love you, and the more he will care for you.
5. Praise. Praise him till he turns red
Everyone has a set standard of what they want from others and many times do not offer any form of appreciation when they attain certain milestones.
Girl, this should not be the case with you. Any little thing he does, praise him. He successfully prepares a meal, dish out the compliments. He is happy about something you don’t understand but he achieved, praise him. If he is sad over a loss of investments, praise his fortitude and rationality after the sadness blows over. You get the idea.
Men want to be appreciated for everything and anything. So when he does something you are proud of or appreciate, make sure to show him and tell him.
6. Respect, him. Always respect him
It is very normal to throw shades at people, to tease them over things they do. But when it comes to our significant other, one must be careful not to cross the line, no matter how thin it is.
Men are built with slightly brittle egos. If there is something people insult him with or you know there is something he is very conscious about, try your very best not to use that to insult him, okay? Asides from that, every other thing can be used at your disposal (wink wink).
7. Accept him and his shortcomings
No one is perfect, we all have our flaws and that is what makes us human. In reality, flaws are needed for relationships to thrive.
When we have flaws and weaknesses we are complemented by the strengths of those around us, in this case, our partners. For a relationship to thrive there must be a very high degree of acceptance of the flaws of your partner. Out of the many desires possible to be listed, one of the greatest things men want in a relationship is this acceptance.
8. Men want to feel safe around their lovers
Legend has it that there exists within every man, a child who wants to be safe. And that is very true, he wants to see that you care for him, so always show it. It will get to a point where his day will not be made until he sees you or hears from you.
9. Men want to be encouraged
There are times when, after feeling extremely comfortable with you, he will tell you of a certain endeavor he wants to embark on but he feels uncertain about the result.
As it is very normal for every human being to feel fear, the fear of failure, it is at that point that men want you to be the surge of adrenaline they so desperately need. It is at that point he needs you to be that nudge for his inner lion to roar. The spark that will light up the eyes of his inner dragon (jeesh, I sound so poetic).
Be that for him and you have given him one of the greatest gifts humanity could ever create, an encouraging woman.
10. There should be no barriers in communication
Communication is the life force of every relationship. The beauty of it is that if both of you are busy and don’t talk for weeks, whenever you see each other again, you speak with such excitement as though you both haven’t seen each other in years. Now that is a beautiful thing. To be able to communicate with you without feeling that there are certain things he should not say, as a man, will be his greatest source of comfort and joy.
You will be his living diary, every day he will keep incidents and encounters in his head just so he can see you and start talking about them. When you catch him talking to you with a face that’s lightened up… There. That is true love which has made him become that way, a hearty congratulations to you.
11. Patience. Be patient sweetheart
There are times you’ll point out certain things that you believe he should change. That is very normal, but he has probably been that way his entire life, and because of the love he has for you, he will want to change.
But just as Rome wasn’t built in a day, it was not destroyed in a day either (it actually took many generations of mismanagement, corruption, and laziness but this is not your history class). It will take time for him to change, even if he backslides, a man will want to change for you, so please be patient with him.
12. Your inner beauty is just as important as your outer beauty
Yes, your physical beauty is divine, and yeah we know that Aphrodite herself looks to you as her only rival. But, how is your heart? Are you consumed by hatred easily? Do you lash out under the slightest of pressure? Or do you think all should be beneath you because of your social status? Do you eat cereal and gravy? (shudders vigorously).
You, my dear, are better off without such things clouding your heart. Men want beautiful hearts too in relationships. So, make an effort to change for him, because there is only so much a man can take when he is in a relationship. You want yours to flourish, not nose dive just after liftoff.
Women want these things too
All in all, these things must be reciprocated by the man too. That is why I called relationships symbiotic. And that is why it is a relationship between two adults who know the value of what they have and want to keep their love for each other alive.
It shouldn’t be parasitic where one suffers for the sake of the other, no it should not! It also should not be one where one party does all the work of chasing and pleasing the other, there is only so much one can do. Sooner or later they will realize they are the ones doing most of the work and will assume you care little for them, then they will leave.
We do not want that for you, we do not want a case where your relationship ends abruptly because of one misdeed or the other. Always be there for one another, always put all matters that bother you up for discussion. Don’t let a bad day cause you to snap at your significant other.
If the day overwhelmed you and your partner has been putting up a not so palatable attitude, it is very important you take a breather, go outside or just fall asleep. It is very important to know that not all battles are meant to be fought.
As much as men want all these things in a relationship, it is also very important that they reciprocate. It makes no sense not to have the characteristics you desire from your ideal partner when it is expected from you.
Lastly, it is very important that you walk away from relationships when they seem toxic and not good for your mental health. It is also important to leave the table when respect, the simplest of needs in a relationship, is no longer being served. And with that, I leave you to your bidding.
Always remember that the things men want in a relationship are not so far-fetched. In fact, they are very similar to what you want, too.
You might also want to read about:
- 13 Secrets to a happy relationship
- 20 Cheap Date Night Ideas For A Tight Budget
- 15 Tips To Improve Communication In a Relationship
- 10 Signs He Is Falling In Love With You
- 10 Signs It Is Time To Break Up And Move On
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