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There are often certain things women do that turn men off in a relationship or marriage that they might not even realize they are doing. These things can put strain on the relationship and cause men to pull away. And often times, women don’t even realize why it’s happening. If you find yourself in such a situation, read on.
Being in a relationship is one thing that almost everyone craves for at some point in their lives. It is a beautiful thing to find that special someone whom you can rely on to satisfy your emotional, physical, social and psychological needs, as the case may be. Oh and please remember, satisfying your financial needs does not have to be on the list!
Now, friend, you may be really in love with the man in your life and so you try your best to keep the relationship moving. You must have sacrificed a lot; you’ve probably done things you wouldn’t do ordinarily, just to be with that man you truly love.
Sometimes, relationships progress with very minimal clashes or conflicts between you and your partner (of course, there is no relationship without at least a little misunderstanding). It might eventually get to the point where you both say “I do”… You then make marital vows and live happily ever after as husband and wife. Or so it goes in romantic movies.
However, sometimes, things don’t work out the way you want, your sacrifices notwithstanding.
As a matter fact, women often wonder what they did wrong to cause a relationship of 5 years to crash! What could possibly make a man who used to be loving get pissed off and suddenly change?
It may be as a result of a wide range of factors. Some of these factors might be attitudinal or behavioral, others are simply due to mindset, beliefs, ideas, etc.
In this article, we’ll be looking at 12 things women do that turn men off which they may not even realize they are doing.
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1. You are not real to yourself and to him
Every man wants a woman who doesn’t pretend to be what she’s not. A woman who doesn’t fake things. Men prefer women that they understand, women that they know to a very large extent.
It is a huge turn off for a man to finally find out for instance, that what you claimed about not being after his money was the opposite. If you like his affluence, as awkward as it seems, give him a clue to understand that. Actually, it’s far better!
As you know, nobody likes pretense… Men are not excluded. You may be trying to impress him by faking a lot of things. But it will definitely not go down well with him if he finds out you’ve been unreal all along.
It’s better to be yourself. Let him know who you really are. Let him fall in love with the real you because if he falls in love with who you’re not, he will definitely leave when he finds out who you really are.
2. You make everything all about you
Most women want a very caring man who will shower them with attention and unending love. They might have searched for such a man for a very long time and maybe, it seems like he doesn’t exist.
Now, if you are such a woman, you will probably decide that since you can’t find your perfect man, you’ll have to create your perfect man. Hence, you try to make your man do the things you always dreamed of your perfect man doing.
For instance, telling him to: pick up your call at its very first ring, remember your birthday or any other anniversary before you do, make you breakfast in bed, occasionally shower you with gifts. Or get you flowers when coming back from work, take you out on a dinner date occasionally, help you in the kitchen, massage you often, do this and do that.
At a point, it will surely get to him. He may begin to ask, “Must it always be about pleasing her?” and “What has she ever done to please me?”
Not that it’s wrong for a man to treat his woman nicely, but you as a woman should not be too comfortable when he’s the only one doing the “pleasing”. Try to be reciprocal. Excite him too, surprise him too!
When it becomes all about you, then it becomes synonymous to you being self-centered…. And of course, that’s a major turn off!
3. You lose his trust because you are not straightforward
One of the things women do that turn men off is living a dubious life. That lifestyle that makes a man have reasons to doubt his woman’s genuineness many times.
When you become too evasive, oblique and equivocal, the man in your life will surely get very uncomfortable being around you. Nobody wants to be with someone they can’t trust.
For example, hiding certain things from him like your whereabouts when he decided to pay you a surprise visit and couldn’t find you in. Hiding such things from him might seem like no big deal to you, but over time, it can be very frustrating for him!
Another example that might seem negligible but actually really matters is when you hide or leave his presence to make certain phone calls. In fact, the moment you start having lots of secrets, you’re giving him a bad signal. At some point, he’ll surely get fed up.
4. You nag a lot instead of understanding
Yes, men can be weird sometimes. They start doing things they don’t normally do. It can be mind-boggling, especially if those things don’t go down well with you.
Perhaps your man, who normally gives you all the attention you need, suddenly becomes too busy that he starts staying out late… At this point, you might feel the urge to complain or scold him, hoping he would change. If he continues, you may even resort to calling him names.
But then, you failed to think of what might have caused this change of attitude.
Your man could actually be having a difficult time, even dealing with issues at his place of work. He also might be having some personal issues that he would love to discuss with you, if only you were calm enough to observe and understand him. But with the way you nag at him during his most difficult times, you might end up pushing him away.
5. You’re too clingy
Women often genuinely think they have the right to possess their man fully. When you go an extra mile to be all over him to the point that he doesn’t have any breathing space, that is simply a turn off for most men.
Being too clingy can be toxic! Sometimes, you need to give your man his space. He needs it to meditate, to concentrate and tackle his tasks.
He also needs some time to rest after a hectic day! You can still have a nice time with him, but you need to do it after you have allowed him to have time for himself.
Apart from that, he needs you to allow him to socialize with his friends. He also needs some time for his immediate family: mom, dad and siblings. You have to give him the time to experience the outside world. Yes, everyone needs space, men inclusive. Don’t be too clingy or over-possessive.
6. You rarely appreciate his efforts
This is another common thing women do that turn men off. Funny enough, some women may not be aware that they are ungrateful. They simply say to themselves, “He did what he is supposed to do as my man, after all I should be his priority, so why should I be excited?”
In order to solve this problem of ungratefulness, you have to learn how to say thank you even for the least significant thing. If not, you’ll end up not saying thank you when it really matters and over time, this act could culminate into something catastrophic in your relationship.
7. You rely too much on him
Men generally don’t want liabilities, because they have a lot of liabilities in their lives already. Most men prefer assets.
This is not to say that you are not part of your lover’s, fiancé’s or husband’s responsibilities. But you shouldn’t just depend on him in everything you do. You should be able to cater for some of your basic needs. Your man is simply there to support you when the burden is too much on you.
8. You don’t care to look good as a woman
At the early stages of every relationship, women often look their best. But everything suddenly changes when we get comfortable around him, including our looks.
Research suggests that one of the first things that attract men to women is physical looks. For that reason, you as a woman should not relent when it comes to your appearance. Men attach much importance to your looks.
I’m not saying you should turn into a makeup freak, but at least, you shouldn’t ignore the fundamental things that make you feminine simply because you know he loves you anyway… Try to attract him as if it were the first days of your relationship.
9. You play games with him in the relationship
Playing games in a relationship can come in many different ways. But it becomes very noticeable when you intentionally do things just to get to him.
It often starts from the very beginning when he asked you out and you preferred to play hard to get… Yes, it’s understandable that you wouldn’t want to appear too cheap. Men understand that, which is why they won’t just stop immediately when you decline their first attempt to approach you. But when you prolong the hard-to-get game, the turn off starts there.
By extension, playing games also includes you intentionally ignoring his calls just to make him call you repeatedly. Another example is when you decide to flirt with other guys to poke his jealousy. Such unnecessary games might not yield a positive outcome.
10. You take him for granted
Many times, a woman may do things that she feels are normal, not knowing that the man perceives those things as a lack of regard for him.
For instance, when you prefer to be busy chatting on your phone while you’re having a conversation with him. Or when you prefer to take his seriousness for a joke i.e. joking over things he’s serious about. This might appear minor, but it hurts most men when their seriousness is taken for granted. It can force them to withdraw.
11. You monitor all his steps and get extremely jealous
Sure, it’s understandable that you want to know your man and how faithful he is. It’s also understandable that you love your man and hence, you often get jealous.
But remember, if you keep monitoring all his moves; checking his chats now and then, even to the extent of using the help of your friends to keep tabs on him… gurlll, it won’t end well.
Firstly, you’ll hurt yourself. For instance, when you check his WhatsApp and see him seemingly getting too familiar with a particular girl, you might get overly jealous, which when not checked, could make you act silly. Consequently, you may end up pushing him away.
Secondly, monitoring your man excessively can give him the perception that you are not giving him his freedom which can be provocative… That’s a major turn off!
12. You always want to be in control
Although this is coming last, it is arguably one of the major things women do that turn men off. As a matter of fact, nobody wants to be controlled or subjugated, men are not left out.
The moment your attitude makes him feel like you’re beginning to take full control of his life, he may find the need to call it a day with you.
You can avoid the tendency of taking charge over him by not seeking to manipulate him into doing your own bidding. Don’t always find the need to lure him into doing what he really doesn’t want to do. Yes, that includes guilt tripping him!
At this point, I’m sure you’ve realized several things you may have done or still do to turn your man off. If you already had some failed relationships and you are a culprit in some or most of the aforementioned, then you have to use what you have learned as a guide to check some of your attitudes in your next relationships. Remember, no man wants to be turned off. Quite the opposite actually!
You might also want to read about:
- 11 Mistakes Women Make In Relationships
- 15 Tips To Improve Communication In a Relationship
- 10 Signs It Is Time To Break Up And Move On
- 12 Important Things Men Want In A Relationship
Please share these 12 things women do that turn men off with others!
If you made it to this point, yay! I hope you found these 12 things women do that turn men off useful! And if you find yourself doing any of these things and notice it has an impact on your relationship, that you’ll re-evaluate your reasons for doing it.
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