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It is perfectly natural to want to feel better about yourself and be happier overall. Nowadays, we live in an age where information about everything is available to all who seek it. But also, this is the age of digital overload where many times our brains can’t keep up with the amount of information being thrown at us. It is so overwhelming and often the information is slightly negative, or purely so, making us more sad than happy on a normal day.
More often than not, this information is of the toxic kind, which creates feelings of loneliness, sadness, anxiety and depression. These feelings are real, and also they are normal. But what is important is, what will your reaction be when they come for you?
Many times they beat us down, but that’s okay! We must keep rising no matter what. Feeling better about yourself is a process and at the initial stage, it will be hard, especially when you do not see any reason to or don’t believe there is a way for you to feel better about yourself. I do hope that by the end of this article, you see just how amazing you actually are.
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1. Accept your flaws
We are all flawed in and out, and this is part of our human nature. Those who hide behind the mask of perfection never know what true peace is. They have set a high standard for themselves and though it will please them and satiate their ever thirsty egos, they can never fill the void that lies within.
We have all been at a stage in our lives where our most obvious flaws disturbed us a lot and we feared what the world might say about these flaws. It caused us to sink into depression and deep anxiety. Most likely it was a trying phase and we never want it to repeat itself. It can be very easy to hide our flaws, just a little misdirection here or there to hide them.
But I am of the belief that no matter how damning these flaws are, they are what make you who you are and you should learn to accept them in order to feel better about yourself. It is going to be trying, as you will feel dejected on many occasions because you want to be perfect, but sweetheart, nobody’s perfect. Your rough edges and deep scars are what make you beautiful, so do not fret, wear those flaws like armor and no one can use them to hurt you. Ever.
2. Learn to step away
Sometimes in our lives, we are surrounded by intense negativity, and this could be in the form of events or even people. It is at such a point that we must decide to place our mental well being first.
You need to cut off those that make you feel bad about yourself, whether it is directly or indirectly. Especially those who look upon you with scorn or call you names when you tell them point-blank, in order to save your friendship with them, that you do not like the way they make you feel when you speak about the things that bother you.
This is one very important step to feeling better about yourself. It works a whole lot for when you can brave the “loneliness” that you so fear if you lose them. That is when you will see how strong you are. It will feel like a load has come off your shoulders and this is a sign that you are on the road to being a better person.
Stepping away also involves having the courage to enjoy your own company. Many of us do not like being alone no matter the circumstances. But in reality, there are only very few people that know you better than yourself and amongst those people, you are in the top three. Learning to stay alone requires patience and when you do learn it, you will discover the true value of good company.
3. Celebrate your victories
There are several things we fight within ourselves, several addictions which in the long run could damage us. Perhaps you set one or two goals to keep you away from these things and you achieved a milestone. That is something you should celebrate.
Or it could be getting a promotion at your workplace, successfully carrying out a presentation despite your stage fright, making a new friend despite what you feel is social awkwardness.
All these deeds shouldn’t go unnoticed; you must award yourself because this will spur your brain into needing to do more just to get those rewards. Constant repetition of these deeds such as staying away from addictions (like sugary sweets, in my case) will solidify the practice in your psyche.
Even when you fall, you will right yourself and that is the most important thing in living—the number of times you get up after you fall, and not the number of times you fall.
I truly believe in the strength that resides within us as humans. We are born with a resilience that daunts the hardness of steel, even if we don’t all know it. I believe in our courage—you admitting that you have something holding you back takes a whole lot of courage and you, my friend, are the pinnacle of courage.
4. Select your company
The company we keep goes a long way in determining our state of mind all the time. So, you need to be around those who make you want to grow, who bring out the best in you, and who are comfortable with how bright your stars are without trying to cover them up due to envy.
Most importantly, find those that bring you peace. Give them peace too and always try to be around them. These sets of individuals are very important for your mental well-being and as such you must take note of them and befriend them, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone. Because beyond it, on the other side, lies the growth zone where your physical and mental states of wellness will expand.
Try to mix up your company with the only criteria being a kind heart and a vibrant mind. Do not select your friends because of their ethnicity or religion, it is quite ignorant for anyone to pick people based on that. Instead look for what they have to offer you, how they can make you grow precisely and then you can ask yourself how you can make them grow as well.
Relationships must be mutually symbiotic and not parasitic, where only one party gains. It is not healthy to be in such relationships so please, flee from them, flee as fast as you can!
5. Exercise more
A healthy mind requires a healthy body as well, so always keep in mind that your fitness is your priority and you must treat it that way. Exercises do not have to be too extreme for those who are not bodybuilders (nonetheless, bodybuilders and powerlifters, keep it up).
Exercises help in aiding your blood flow. A simple jog down the street or some jumping squats will go a long way in priming your mind for that day. There are other workout programs that range in difficulty but will still work rather effectively on your mind. Pick a time to work out daily, even if it’s just for 10 minutes a day. Do this every day for about five weeks and you will see the difference.
6. Avoid negative talk
Often, we confuse negativity with realism. One only assumes the worst, while the other assumes the worst but is also open to the good fortune that fate might bring. Do not be a victim of your mind. When you leave it to assume the worst, it will make up scenarios that will hurt you way more than the actual event, and this is ultimately unhealthy for you.
Learn to maintain a balance in your thought processes so you will not let them go off track and tumble at breakneck speed to the negative zone. The balance is what makes the difference.
In every situation you find yourself, do not speak negatively of events no matter how dire they may seem. Instead, offer comfort while preparing your mind for any outcome, expecting nothing at all. Because in reality, it is our expectations that get the better of us.
7. Eat healthily
We are what we consume, right? If this is true (which I’m pretty sure it is because, hello, the internet is kinda smart) then we should ensure we always consume what is healthy and right. There are certain meals that should be avoided because of your intolerance to them and others to be consumed whenever you have a meal.
We are in a time where a few clicks here and there will give you possible plans for meals depending on your budget. These plans hold meals that contain all the major classes of food and at their appropriate levels so you do not consume one at the expense of another.
Drinking water also works wonders on the body and mind. Water is known to clear up your skin and boost your physical activities. So endeavor to eat healthily as this is a major aspect of improving your mental health and will invariably make you feel better about yourself.
Your meditation doesn’t have to be extravagant. It doesn’t have to be filled with incense or on top of a mountain (but come to think of it, meditating on Table Mountain sounds blissful). Simply sitting still in your living room, on your bed, or on the floor works just fine.
People find it hard to sit still which is very normal but let me tell you one of the many advantages of learning this beautiful art. When we sit for a long time or even some minutes without moving, an itch walts along. The normal reaction will be to scratch at it, get rid of it. But what if you don’t?
With some time, the itch disappears and another one can come along. This can be applied to everyday life too. Say, for instance, you are in a meeting with some people, tensions get out of hand and everyone is arguing amongst themselves. Someone might throw a jab at you, and you feel like you have to stand up for yourself, put the person in their place. Again, this is very normal… but what if you don’t? What if you just ignored the individual and moved along like nothing even happened? You will discover that the latter approach will bring you more peace, you would have displayed a high level of maturity that will make you happy with yourself, and that precious feeling is worth everything regardless of egos.
9. Help others
Finally, you can also feel better by helping people out. Learn to change your perspective every now and then to see that everyone around you is trying to live out their lives on this beautiful planet, and that we are all connected one way or the other. Some famous person once said, “Just as lower beings (animals) were made for higher beings (humans), higher beings were made for one another.”
It is highly important that you take it upon yourself to be a good person if you want to achieve peace of mind. When you can see that people are intentionally making things unbearable for you, always keep in mind that you cannot have light without darkness, cold without heat, pleasure without pain. These people are as necessary as the good, how we react to them on the other hand is what truly matters. Do not be caught up in their schemes that you forget your good nature, instead live each day with a renewed conviction that you will make the world a better place.
Words are truly powerful so be wary when you use them, it is important that you do not use them to hurt people because words are actually meant for healing. Practice this daily: do not say things to people unless you will feel no guilt if they were your last words to them if you left the world at that moment. Scary? Well, it works like magic and will leave you feeling much better about yourself as an individual everyday!
You might also want to read about:
- 15 Bad Habits You Should Break For A Happier Life
- 14 Things You Will Regret Not Doing Sooner
- 15 Tips On How To Wake Up Earlier And Not Feel Tired
- 10 Tips On How To Have An Abundance Mindset