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Couples are bound to experience hurt, pain, and problems in their relationship at one point or the other, it is inevitable! But that shouldn’t bring the relationship to an end. Instead you should use it as an avenue to make the relationship stronger and better. Today I’ll share my top tips to mend a broken relationship.
It is not easy to maintain a healthy relationship, it requires effort from both parties. A healthy relationship requires love, patience, perseverance, respect, physical and emotional energy, amongst other factors from both parties for it to work out well.
Sometimes we may get carried away with the situation at hand that we forget to put all these things into practice in our relationship.
After a little argument with our partner, we tend to forget all the beautiful moments we once had in the relationship. We begin to question why we chose to be with them in the first place and then the relationship starts falling apart.
You may argue that you don’t need anyone in your life at that moment, but deep down we all know that every human yearns for attention, care, tender touch, kisses and to be loved. So when the going gets tough and you feel like your relationship is falling apart, then you need to take steps toward making sure that it doesn’t completely fall apart and ultimately end.
Before you embark on the journey to mending your broken relationship, make sure that you work on your personal development.
Although trying to mend a broken relationship is easier said than done, you have to put in your best if you love your partner and still want to maintain the relationship.
Check out these 11 effective tips on how to mend a broken relationship asap!
1. Figure out the cause of the problem
Firstly, you need to ask yourself what the cause of the problem at hand is and what role you played in creating the problem. There is a wide range of things that could have led to the problem at hand, critically think about them and note them down.
This is very important because if you don’t know what the problem is there is no way you can tackle it. If you are unable to find the cause of the problem by yourself, you could talk to a therapist or counsellor to help you with the process.
It is best to determine and tackle the problem at hand as soon as possible before it accumulates into something bigger that you may not be able to solve anymore.
Some common causes of problems in relationships are lack of communication, lack of trust, cheating from one partner, financial difficulty, lack of respect, etc.
2. Don’t involve a third party
This is very peculiar to the female gender in relationships and one of the mistakes women make in relationships.
Women tend to tell their family and friends about any little problem they are having in their relationship all in the name of seeking advice, without considering the future consequences of doing so.
Many of us fail to realize that every relationship has its problems and trials. It takes a mature person to handle those problems well and resolve them without bringing a third party in, which is the best solution.
Those people you are telling your problems to also have their own relationship problems and in most cases, they would keep it to themselves.
Involving a third party in your relationship issue might take the problem out of proportion and even lead to worse results.
It might also diminish the worth of your partner in the eyes of whoever you involved in the issue, which may be a problem in the future when both of you have settled your differences. So, instead of going through that route, it is best to have a one-on-one conversation with your partner and try to solve the problem together with him or her.
Even if you would eventually have to involve a third party because you can’t find a solution to the problem by yourselves, then you must make sure that you are seeking help from either a professional. That is, a marriage counsellor or therapist or from a family or friend whom you are very sure has your best interest at heart.
3. Don’t hesitate to say sorry
When you are trying to mend a broken relationship, you must not hesitate to say these three words, “I am sorry”.
Although it may be hard to say sorry when you are angry or hurt, you need to let go of those feelings to let peace and love reign again.
Also, a lot of people find it difficult to say sorry or apologize for their wrongdoing because they are egoistic. So they would rather keep malice, wait for the other person to reach out first or try to justify their actions. Meanwhile, their partner is also doing the very same thing and then this gradually destroys the relationship. Don’t be that person. Your partner shouldn’t be that person either.
You must learn to let go of your pride, hurt, and anger, to do the right thing for the relationship to be mended and work out well.
To make a relationship work, you must be willing to own up to your mistakes when you have a misunderstanding with your partner. Don’t try to justify your actions or trade blames, just accept that you are wrong, apologize and move on.
4. Communicate with your partner
Communication is a very important and indispensable part of any relationship. In fact, your relationship is as good as your communication pattern.
If your relationship is going through some rough times and you want to mend it, one of the best ways to do so is to establish an effective communication pattern with your partner.
Tell him or her how you feel and what you think you can both do to make the situation better.
In some cases, the problem might be because both of you do not communicate often with each other well. And you are both assuming things that are not even there instead of talking about it.
Also, if there is anything you don’t like that your partner is doing, express yourself to him or her without being a nag. Because if you keep quiet, there is no way your partner can read your mind to know what is going on in there.
Seek clarifications on any issue from your partner before you jump into conclusions.
Even when you are angry, instead of keeping malice and holding a grudge against your partner, find a good time to start up an interesting conversation to ease the atmosphere. And then both of you can start talking about your relationship issues from there.
If you want to know more about this, I also have a post where I talk about tips to improve communication in a relationship.
5. Listen to your partner and understand his or her perspective
Listening to your partner talk about how they feel is as important as talking about how you feel.
There is more to listening than hearing. Listening involves giving your full attention to your partner while having a conversation with them. Avoid all forms of distractions like your gadgets, make eye contact with them, and let your body language show that you are with them.
Don’t just listen to respond, listen to understand what they are saying, and try to see things from his or her perspective.
Instead of only talking about how you feel, take some time to listen to how your partner feels about the problem at hand without interrupting them.
6. Cultivate the habit of forgiveness
Having the ability to forgive your partner’s wrongdoings is very important in your relationship. Forgiveness can be one of the hardest parts of mending a relationship but it is also very significant.
Forgiveness helps you to let go of grudges, negative emotions, and release your accumulated anger and pain, which is very important for progress in life.
No one is perfect, therefore you need to learn to forgive your partner in order to mend your broken relationship.
7. Give your partner time and space
Sometimes when you are trying to fix a problem in your relationship, you must be willing to give your partner some time and space to sort things out by themselves.
To maintain a healthy relationship you need to give yourself and your partner some alone time. In fact, being with your partner 24 hours 7 days a week would even lead to more fighting or feeling trapped.
You both had a life before you started a relationship, so the fact that you are now in a relationship doesn’t mean you should throw it all away.
8. Respect your partner and be committed to the relationship
It is so important that you respect your partner even when the both of you are not on good terms. Don’t say hurtful things to them because you can’t take back your words after they have been said.
Respect their privacy, opinions, and values.
9. Use your partner’s love language
Every individual in a relationship has a love language that they cherish and understand the most. Find out what your partner’s love language is and use it to make things work out again between both of you.
After saying sorry to your partner, using his or her love language would help to make the mending process faster.
Do more of those things that you know, whenever you do them, it always brings a smile to your partner’s face and makes him or her feel loved (wink wink).
10. Support your partner
You must learn to support your partner even when you are experiencing challenges in your relationship.
Offer them your support in every way possible. If you know of an opportunity that would help to better any aspect of their life, tell them about it. Invest in your partner with your time, money, and energy. Motivate them to do better and be better.
Those little acts of care and kindness that you exhibit to your partner go a long way in showing them that you have their back and you support them.
Don’t leave when the going gets tough, instead, support and fight alongside your partner to make things work best for both of you.
11. Determine if your partner wants to fix the relationship
After implementing all of the tips above in a bid to mend your relationship, and you realize that things are still the same or your partner doesn’t seem to care, then you have to ask them if they are still interested in being in a relationship with you. Point blank.
It would only be a waste of time and effort if you keep on trying to make things work in the relationship meanwhile your partner doesn’t even want to be with you anymore.
This is why you must determine if your partner still wants to fix the relationship or if he or she wants out. Remember that it takes two people to mend a broken relationship (oh and to tango). There should be effort from both sides to make it work again.
In conclusion, mending a relationship may not be an easy task, but you need to be willing to give all it takes to make it work again (if you actually really want it to).
When you want to mend a broken relationship, you must be persistent in your approach. Don’t get tired along the line or relent on trying to make things work. It is a continuous process.
You may need to change your approach if you see that the technique you have been using before is not bringing positive change. Either way, make sure you don’t relent on trying to make things work.
Try your best to have a calm and soft heart towards your partner. Spend more quality time with him or her physically, develop yourself personally, constantly try to be a better person in all areas of your life. Work on how to bring back the love in your relationship.
Build trust in your relationship and make sure you don’t do anything to break it. It is always best to address your relationship issues immediately, instead of leaving them to become bigger and more difficult.
Let the memory of when you fell in love with your partner, constantly be in your head because it will help you let go of the negative and bitter thoughts you may be having.
By doing all this, you are on the right path to mending your broken relationship!
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