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A relationship is deeper than how some people see it. That’s why sometimes people who rush into it often waste no time before they rush out. Today I’ll share some bad habits in relationships you need to be aware of so you can avoid doing these things, or recognize if it’s being done to you.
The average adult goes into a relationship with high expectations… only a few expect moderately. That’s why there are lots of sad tales about relationships. On most occasions, the main reason expectations are not met in relationships is because of certain bad habits that one or both partners exhibit.
Sure, it’s normal, because virtually everyone has their fair share of bad habits. We all have our imperfections, right? However, the abnormal thing about having those bad habits is that if left unchecked, they could mar your relationship.
The truth is, certain negative habits can easily be neglected and compromised on by any couple. But then there are some other really bad behaviors that can cause irreconcilable differences between partners… You absolutely have to avoid such before thinking of taking any relationship to the next level.
Bad Habits In Relationships
That being said, in this article, I will be letting you in on 15 bad habits in relationships you need to avoid right from today!
1. Trying To Change Who They Are
Before entering into any commitment as deep as a relationship or marriage, you should tread carefully. Know who you want to date or marry. Understand their behavior and personality traits.
Ensure you can cope with who they are before getting committed. Because it is not in your position to change them into whatever you want.
This is one mistake many people make. For instance, they know they can’t cope with a gangster, but they marry them anyway because they believe they can change the gangster into a different person.
Well, that’s a big mistake. Because the truth is that there is no guarantee you can change someone from who they really are. And even if you can, it’s not your choice to make.
2. Waiting For Your Partner To Read You
Another bad habit in relationships is when you start acting as if you have a soothsayer as a partner. Like, how on earth do you expect your partner to always know exactly what you want? In case you missed, it is too much to ask from a normal human being. (Ladies especially, get in here!)
You shouldn’t expect your partner to figure out your problems and solve them without you telling them. Unless they have superpowers.
If you want something badly, you have to ask for it. And if your partner is in the position to assist you, sure they would. If you keep expecting your partner to figure out your problems by themselves, you might be disappointed a lot – because they just might not be able to.
3. Trying To Instigate Jealousy In Your Partner
This is one of the most common bad habits in relationships.
Most people who enter into relationships want to feel secure with their partner. And if security is what your partner craved before committing to you, then why make them feel jealous?
Jealousy is a feeling that is mostly caused by insecurity. You basically feel jealous when you feel like someone else is about to take your place in the relationship… of course, that is a threat to the relationship and you are right to feel unsafe.
As a matter of fact, it’s simply terrible to intentionally instigate jealousy. You must avoid such in your relationship if you really want to build a healthy partnership.
4. Getting Unnecessarily Jealous
Sometimes, jealousy is not caused by incitement but as a result of one’s personality. It’s actually common to come across people who easily get jealous. Even when it’s unwarranted. Jealousy can result in mistrust and insecurity which will make you constantly spy on your partner even when nothing is wrong.
It brings about negative energy which will make you repulsive to your partner. In fact, it can directly cause a relationship meltdown.
Although jealousy is more like a spontaneous reaction which you might not know how to avoid, it can gradually be eliminated if you intentionally work on yourself.
5. Fighting In Public
Sure, fights are allowed, even in healthy relationships. But then fighting in public is a big no-no. It is even worse when it becomes a habit.
How would you feel if you and your partner are known by everyone as the fighting couple? Of course, I’m sure you wouldn’t be proud of that. It will cause you so much embarrassment.
Even if such a mistake can be pardoned once, it must not become a habit. Because apart from the resulting embarrassment, it does not show maturity as well. You can always control your emotional outbursts in the public and settle the issue at home accordingly. That’s what responsible partners do.
6. Bottling Up Your Anger
You have to express yourself whenever the need arises… it’s improper to bottle up your anger for a longer period of time. Such a habit is totally unhealthy for any relationship.
If your partner wrongs you, and you feel bad about it, waste no time to spit it out.
One harm that is associated with harboring your anger is that you won’t feel free. Plus you’ll have this strong bitterness and resentment towards your partner – and they’re probably unaware of it. As such, you are more or less hurting yourself.
If this should continue without being curtailed, you might end up exploding violently and hence the whole issue will be aggravated!
7. Being Unable To Forgive
According to relationship experts, one of the easiest ways to destroy relationships is through unforgiveness. Most couples who have spent 50 years (or more) together were only able to do so because they were able to forgive each other countless times.
For any relationship to last, the concerned couple must have this predestined willingness to forgive themselves even before they have erred. Yes, that’s how it should be.
But unfortunately, many couples have already forgotten what forgiveness is all about. In fact, some intending couples walk into relationships hoping to file for a divorce once their partner errs.
That explains why the rate of divorce is on the increase in our society.
Nobody is perfect, remember? Therefore, learn to forgive your partner and give them another chance to make things right. As a matter of fact, forgiveness is a sign of strength… because it’s really difficult to forgive.
A person who forgives is actually stronger than the person who is forgiven!
8. Taking Advantage Of A Partner That Forgives
This is another bad habit in relationships that you must avoid like the plague. It’s really awful, taking advantage of your partner simply because they easily forgive you when you wrong them… hence, you keep repeating that same act that breaks their heart!
One thing with this habit is that at a point, your partner might not take it any more… And in most cases, if they eventually leave you, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life because you’ll find it hard to replace such a partner.
Trust me, there are only a few persons who would show such strength in relationships.
9. Timing Your Discussions Poorly
It’s advisable for partners to communicate often…
You are expected to talk to your partner when they offend you. But, it is a bad habit if you always time your discussions wrongly.
Important discussions (between couples) like financial mismanagement or a breach of relationship expectations should only take place at the right time, like when you two are alone and in the right state of mind to discuss such.
Bringing up the topic at the wrong time might be offensive and can result in an unwanted situation.
10. Being Unnecessarily Dramatic
It’s a fact that no relationship is perfect. Each relationship already has enough issues to be tackled. So, it’s unnecessary to be dramatic in any given scenario.
For instance, if your partner failed to empty the waste bin when it was full, you can simply do it instead of creating a scene. He probably forgot to do it.
The truth is that relationships will be happier and easier if partners stop putting up unnecessary drama. By so doing, lots of troubles will be avoided and a lot of breakups too.
11. Spying On Your Partner
Spying on your partner is a petty habit you shouldn’t even think of adopting. In fact, once a relationship gets to the point where partners spy on themselves, it won’t be long before things get out of hand.
Any relationship that is bound to last must be built on trust. You have to trust your partner enough to be secure around them. You have to trust them enough to believe they’re yours alone. When you spy on your mate, it’s a sign of distrust. And it is highly disrespectful.
The mistake most couples make here is that they feel like since he or she is their partner, they have every right to be all over them. Sure, you and your partner shouldn’t have secrets. But that doesn’t mean you should spy on them and encroach on their personal space.
Remember, your partner was first of all a single person before they got into a relationship with you, right? So they deserve some personal space.
12. Playing The Blame Game
Ever played the blame game? It’s definitely one of the bad habits in relationships that you must run away from.
Some couples have this habit of constantly blaming each other for their own wrongdoing. They just don’t accept being at fault and must find a way to defend their actions – even if it means shifting the blame to their partner.
For instance, one could say; “Oh! You forgot to turn off the cooking gas, now the food is burnt.” Instead of taking responsibility for the mistake, a partner who plays the blame game would reply; “But it’s all your fault, you called me to assist you in the garden in the middle of my cooking!”
Now, don’t you think this is quite a toxic habit to embrace?
13. Doing Everything Together
Everyone needs some time to be alone. Even couples. I’m sure at this point, you might be thinking; how come? Aren’t couples meant to be as united as possible?
Okay, nobody is disputing the fact that couples are meant to do stuff together. But then doing everything together every time is not healthy. Trust me, such a habit will result in a boring relationship sooner or later.
You have to balance things up. While you are allowed to do many things together as a couple, you should also give your partner some alone time.
As a matter of fact, when you spend some time alone, it makes whatever time you spend together more valuable!
This one in particular is terrible.
It’s the easiest way to destroy a relationship.
It takes just one lie to kill the trust that was built over a lifetime.
It takes one lie to break a heart that is willing to sacrifice everything! If there is any bad habit in relationships that must be totally avoided, it is the habit of telling lies.
15. Always Threatening To Leave
This is not just a bad habit but also a way of blackmailing your partner emotionally. A relationship is always going to be associated with good and bad times. It’s not all rosy. There must be trying times.
So, in such difficult times, what do you do?
Are you the type of partner that will stick with your partner and find a way to fix things? Or are you that type of partner that is in the habit of threatening to quit on the relationship? If you fall into the latter category, repent!
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Always remember, it’s pretty common to have one or two of the habits discussed above. You only have to work on yourself, improve, and avoid those negative habits as much as you can. This will help you build a healthy relationship.
However, don’t be too hard on yourself because it doesn’t take just one day to stop a habit that was developed over time.
It’s always going to be a gradual process.
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